Gather around, we need to talk.

Never thought I’d be saying hello to Mark McGwire and goodbye to Rick Ankiel both in the same offseason.

In case some of you haven’t read your ‘Rick Ankiel’ Google alerts this evening, now might be a good time to let you know that he has reached an agreement with the Royals of Kansas City. If you want details and dollar amounts, go find them because frankly, that isn’t what this post is about. However, as much as I dislike Boras, he must be pretty damn good at his job.

So here we are. You and I both knew this day was coming, but we didn’t know when or what the circumstances would be. Now that we do know, I can talk about it. Let’s just say that I’m glad that I’ve been at the bar for the last 5+ hours. That will make this go by a bit smoother for me and probably more confusing for you. (lots of rambling!)

Part of me is really glad it’s Kansas City and not the Mets, Yankees or anyone else equally awful. As much as I would have loved him to be in New York (we could have ridden the subway together) I already cheer for the Mets too much as it is. I don’t need any other incentives to do so.

Things between Ankiel and the media weren’t left all that well, but that’s in the past and you and I both know that St. Louis doesn’t hold many grudges. I think the KC games are in Kauffman in 2010 (I don’t have time to look this stuff up), but we all know that even the Cardinals fans at that game will treat him as if he’s in Busch. It’s just what they do and they do it really well. Once a Cardinal, always a Cardinal?

To the five people reading this, you may be wondering if anything changes here. And the answer is no**. I like my domain name and it will always be relevant to me. I welcome any new KC Ankiel fans as I’ll still be checking my google alerts for the latest, but I still have priorities. I do hope I get to post some kick ass photos of him making some great catches against a backdrop of waterfalls. It’ll be great. It will be weird, but it will be great. (Does Kauffman still have waterfalls? I haven’t been there since I was eight.)

And even though nothing will be changing here it’s probably a good time to thank the people that have stumbled across this site either through their dashboards or random google searches. It also may be a good time to tell you that Brendan Ryan’s mustache is MUCH more popular. If only I had known. So thanks for all of that. You guys are awesome.

I’m sure I might think of some other groundbreaking statements at a later (more sober) date, but this is all I can muster up for now.  I still think Ank’s comeback story is easily one of the greatest in the sport and I hope that it not only continues but that the story gets even better.

**If Jim Edmonds signs with us and grows facial hair this entire site may be reconsidered.

I’m just kidding.

Maybe.

***Disclaimer: I’ve been sitting on this post for about an hour plus now. I don’t even want to post it. I’d rather just do a “thanks for playing” post and move on… get a few beers in me and I turn into a girl.